Written By Chris Schad
The Minnesota Vikings’ history has been one filled with heartbreak and disappointment. From a missed field goal from a perfect kicker in the NFC Championship game to a bounty scandal uncovered after the fact, the team has had a lousy history on the field. However, new developments show that they could possibly kick ass off the field.
That’s because in the world of professional wrestling, two ex-Vikings will be headlining WrestleMania XXXI when Brock Lesnar defends his WWE Championship against Roman Reigns (who was known by his real name, Joe Anoa’i, when he signed as an undrafted free agent in the summer of 2007 but failed to make the team).
Although the two spent less than a month combined on the Vikings roster, it’s fun to wonder what would happen if they joined forces and took on the most evil organization a Minnesota fan could think of: The Green Bay Packers.
Aaron Rodgers & Clay Matthews
The easiest way to make this happen would be to take current star power and have them follow the footsteps of several players who made the leap from the gridiron to the squared circle. Surprisingly, Rodgers and Matthews possess traits to be an entertaining tag team.
With flowing gold locks, Matthews could bring out his inner heel (wrestling lingo for “Bad Guy”) and own the “Prince Pretty” gimmickcarried by recent newcomer Tyler Breeze. While it’s unlikely Matthews would go as far as bedazzling a selfie stick, he makes a cameo in the upcoming film Pitch Perfect 2 where he, along with several other Packers, go Thunder Down Under.
Meanwhile, Rodgers has the art of acting down to a tee after last year’s playoff run. Crippled by a calf injury that had him on the verge of amputation, the Packers star left last year’s Week 17 game against the Detroit Lions on a cart only to return and act like nothing had happened while throwing touchdown passes left and right. To this, Shawn Michaels would have to be proud.
While the two would make an interesting pair, the current NFL landscape would never (and I mean NEVER) allow their highly paid quarterback or linebacker take a spear from Reigns. But like I said, we can dream can’t we?
Brett Favre & Gilbert Brown
If we can’t get current players to participate, maybe it’s best to go back an era. Brown and Favre would also have several traits that would serve as an imposing threat.
Favre’s presence in this match would be unknown for quite some time as the build up of “Will he or won’t he come back this year?” resembles that of The Undertaker’s defense of his 21-match winning streak at WrestleMania. Just when you think that Favre would decide to sit this one out, the lights would go out, the bell would ring and Favre would slowly make his way down to the stage in intimidating fashion.
To pair with Favre’s aura, Brown could be the muscle — if that’s what you would call it. The 340-pound defensive tackle terrorized opposing offensive lines during the Packers’ 1996 Super Bowl run and would be a perfect partner thanks to his grave-digging mentality.
Alas, these two could be neutralized by Lesnar alone, who ended The Undertaker’s streak last year and could superplex Brown from the top rope hard enough to make the ring break. A formidable challenge, but not good enough.
Don Majkowski & Tony Mandarich
Sometimes, the best match needs to have a comedic approach. Rather than showing highlights of the Packers from the late 80s and early 90s, they could throw two of the key cogs of some brutally bad Green Bay teams into the mix.
Known with awesome nicknames “The Magic Man” and “The Incredible Bulk,” this is a tag team that could fill out the ultimate beer break match. As Majkowski and Mandarich flail around like they did on the football field, the team of Lesnar and Reigns could do what recent Vikings teams have failed to do by stomping the Packers.
Of course, a potential beatdown in the ring wouldn’t erase the sting that the Packer dominance has left over the past 20 years, but I’m sure most Vikings would drop the vaunted $9.99 to see anybody in green and gold get repeatedly punched in the face (even if it is fake).