Written By Sam Ekstrom
It would be easy to break down the Gophers’ 51-14 thrashing of Iowa and hyper-analyze how dominant all three phases were. There would be ample material to diagnose how the Gophers outrushed the Hawkeyes 289-84, how Iowa didn’t convert a third down after the first quarter and how Mitch Leidner played, what his coach considered, his best game.
But when you’ve got a coach dancing with his players in the locker room after a statement victory, all other analysis gets put on the backburner.
It wasn’t the first time a University of Minnesota coach ‘got down’ after a big win. Former basketball head coach Tubby Smith danced in the locker room last February following an overtime win against Wisconsin. Kill also danced last season after the Gophers defeated Penn State for their fourth straight conference win. Apparently, sports fan love dancing coaches. All three of the videos went viral within hours.
What makes these videos priceless is that both coaches share the same qualities: they’re both disciplinarians who probably don’t goof around with their players very often, they’re both at the age where they probably aren’t familiar with modern dance culture, and you get the idea that they probably never dance at all unless they’ve had one too many cocktails at a wedding.
You can tell in the videos that both coaches know, unequivocally, that they are not good dancers, which makes them so endearing. Big-ego coaches can’t do locker room dances. If, say, Jim Harbaugh were ever to dance in a locker room, he’d probably try doing some version of the “Dougie,” think he was actually pretty cool doing it and ruin the whole moment. That’s not what the players want. They want to see their hard-nose head coach do something that makes him vulnerable.
“If they’re going to play hard for you, you’ve got to show them you’re a human being and have fun,” said Kill moments after the dance was complete, “They razz me back and forth and I give them a hard time, but I feel like that’s why we’ve got a good relationship. You can get after somebody, but you’ve also got to show them that you’re human every once in a while. I can’t dance anyway.”
So which post-game celebration was better? Kill Saturday or Tubby in 2013? We’ll break it down with far more minutiae than we should.
BETTER MOVES
Tubby Smith showed incredible limberness with his dance routine. He began with a little hop to get loose, then did an about face, got into crouch and went into full ‘lasso mode’ like a rebel cowboy. But Tubby wasn’t done. He transitioned into a side-to-side shimmy-shuffle that demonstrated better defensive mobility than Andre Hollins.
The biggest tragedy in the video is that Trevor Mbakwe picked up his coach and bounced him on his shoulder like an overgrown infant, thereby preventing Tubby from doing, well, whatever he would’ve done next.
Kill was all upper body, never moving his feet. Though his dance floor may have been stifled by the tight circle of players, he still didn’t venture a spin or a slide or a moonwalk. Kill began by shifting his torso around in a circular-type motion, intermixed with some poorly-timed claps. Instead of ratcheting up his routine for an up-tempo finish, Kill closed it out by kneeling and shaking his fists in the air like he was directing a plane onto the runway.
Advantage Tubby.
BETTER QUALITY OF WIN
Both Tubby’s Gophers and Kill’s Gophers had encountered adversity leading up to the dancing game. The basketball team had lost six of eight. The football team had just suffered a huge setback at Illinois. Both teams were also playing border rivals toward the end of their seasons.
While the Gophers’ basketball team fended off a ranked Wisconsin team 58-53 in a tight game, they still exhibited several glaring flaws during the game, primarily on offense. They didn’t break double digits until over 15 minutes into the game, yet somehow stayed close. Not surprisingly, the Gophers responded to Tubby’s dance by losing their next two games handily on the road.
The football team’s win Saturday was near perfection as they scored the most points they had against Iowa since 1949. It was also more important as it tied the Gophers with Wisconsin and Nebraska atop the Big Ten West – more deserving of a post-game celebration.
Advantage Kill.
BETTER MUSIC CHOICE
It didn’t appear that Kill’s group had any music pumped in. Rather, they elected to go with a rhythmic chant that seemed like it had been rehearsed, and maybe performed on previous occasions. The creativity, the tradition and the enthusiasm of the group did more for this video than any top-40 song could have.
Tubby loses by default for choosing Ke$ha and her single “Die Young,” which has no dance-worthy elements to it whatsoever: no strong baseline, no signature move and a chorus that’s tough to sing along to. If the coach was looking for a hip, modern song, Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop,” Pitbull’s “Don’t Stop The Party” or the ever-popular “Harlem Shake” – which several Gophers tried dancing to anyway – would have been far better options.
Advantage Kill.
BETTER PLAYER REACTIONS
It seemed like the football team was prepared for what was about to happen. They looked joyful but not necessarily surprised that their coach was dancing on the locker room floor. After all, this wasn’t the first time Kill had danced in front of his team. If a coach dances too much, it just becomes old hat. While it’s probably not “old hat” yet with Jerry, it didn’t have the same novelty factor as the first time.
With Tubby’s dance, the look on center Elliot Eliason’s face and his childish arm-twirling told the story. Seeing his coach hopping and gyrating was the greatest thing he had ever seen – at least on that particular day. Andre Hollins looked like a kid on Christmas. Trevor Mbakwe flung the coach over his shoulder. Assistant coaches even joined in the makeshift mosh pit. It was pure elation from all parties involved.
Advantage Tubby.
THE VERDICT?
Our two coaches are tied at two categories apiece, so the verdict becomes an editorial decision. It’s not an easy call. Both coaches put together performances that would’ve prompted Bruno Tonioli to hold up a ’10’ on his Dancing With The Stars judge’s paddle. But only one of our candidates evoked a level of glee from his team that people usually see from teenage girls at a One Direction concert.
The winner of the dance-off is Tubby Smith.
Sam Ekstrom is a staff writer for Cold Omaha at 105 The Ticket. He has previously served as a play-by-play broadcaster in Iowa and South Dakota and has covered Minnesota sports since 2012. Follow him on Twitter @SamEkstrom for further insights.